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“What do you do?” Often, this is the first question we ask on meeting a new person. We are usually defined by what we do. “She’s a doctor”, “He’s a teacher”, “I’m a healer”.

When the author Howard Cutler asked the Dalai Lama to describe his work, he replied, “Nothing. I do nothing”. When Cutler pressed harder, the Dalai Lama simply said “I just look after myself”. He is very clear: The purpose of life is to be happy. But happiness isn’t something we do – it is something we are. In the West, this is counter-cultural. Most of us believe that in order to be happy, there is something we must have and thus something we must do. For example, in order to be content, I must have a bigger house which means I must do my job.

But notice that what we’re really after is a feeling. Given that we desire a state of being, there is a more direct route. Instead of trying to reach this by doing and having, we could start with the being itself. This means that you decide to be happy first. Or generous or empowered or wild or peaceful or whatever. So, before going for a job interview, you make a conscious choice to be happy about the opportunity, regardless of the outcome.

This calls for a certain detachment from results. How can you appreciate the interview when you don’t get the job? You can “see the perfection” even when it is not immediately obvious. Even when you “fail” the interview, you don’t get the promotion, experience the healing, or meet the man of your dreams… you don’t lose heart.

You can choose to be happy in any of these situations, because happiness has ZERO to do with exterior circumstances. And once you realise this, you have great peace.

In a nutshell

“Need nothing. Desire everything. Choose what shows up.” (CWG)

Applying this wisdom

1. Think of something you really want: a new kitchen, a more fulfilling relationship, a better sex life. Write this down.

2. Ask yourself: Why do I want this? What do I think it will bring me? Get to the feeling: a sense of contentment, excitement, fulfilment or security. Write this down.

3. Go inside and find this feeling within. Let this feeling flood your body. Enjoy!

4. Now ask yourself, if I were to start from this feeling, what would I do?