We human beings love to think in terms of right and wrong. Take religion. Whether it’s the ten commandments of Christianity, the yamas of the Hindu scriptures or the Noble Eightfold path of Buddhism, each of these moral codes would tend to be seen by their adherents as unchangeable and universal. Yet how can this be when these models of morality differ across religions. If as a Christian I can eat pork but as a Jew I can’t, it raises the question who is creating the morals? We are.

Notice that ideas about right and wrong have changed over time within a single religion. For instance, the Anglican Church thought for hundreds of years that it was wrong for a woman to become a minister whereas now she can become a bishop. The point is that even religious ideas about right and wrong (which are deemed to have the authority of God behind them) are what Hemingway would call a “moveable feast”.

Secular morality also varies from place to place. If I am in the Netherlands, I can legally earn my living as a prostitute but in New Jersey I can’t. As a gay man in South Africa I can now marry my same-sex partner whereas in Kenya I could get up to 14 years’ imprisonment (although interestingly not if I was a practising lesbian). Who then is “right”? The South Africans or the Kenyans? Is it “right” to have gay sex at all?

What I am trying to demonstrate is that our ideas about right and wrong are simply that, ideas. We’ve made them all up. And there is nothing wrong with this! In fact, it is by defining some things as right (e.g. speaking the truth) and other things as wrong (e.g. stealing) that we define who we are and keep the structure of society in place.

But we forget that what we see as right is usually what we agree with rather than an absolute standard. And we love being right! It can be helpful therefore to move beyond thinking in terms of right and wrong. CWG suggest a new model: What works and what doesn’t work, given what it is we are trying to be, have and do.

So, the question “Is is wrong to smoke?” becomes “Is is appropriate for me to have a cigarette given that I want to live a long healthy life?” Or, “Is it wrong for us to invade that country?” could become “Will it create the greatest good for the greatest number if we invade that country?” (if indeed that is what we are trying to do).

I believe that asking questions in this way could help us to resolve some of the moral dilemmas that life presents us with and that with this could come great peace.

In a nutshell 

“There’s no such thing as right and wrong” (CWG) 

Applying this wisdom 

1. Identify a behaviour that you have a strong moral judgement about i.e. you believe that people should be punished for acting in that way (e.g. killing)

2. Ask yourself: Are there any circumstances under which that behaviour would not be “wrong”? (e.g. killing an intruder who is kidnapping a child)

3. Replace the statement about that thing being wrong with a statement about it being inappropriate given what it is that person is trying to be, do or have

4. Notice any change in how you feel as a result. Remember this feeling next time you “should” or “shouldn’t” on someone – including yourself! When this happens, take a step back, create a new observation and loosen up your thinking.