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The times when I have looked someone in the whites of their eyes and really spoken my truth are moments I will never forget. Even if it was scary to do at the time, I felt completely exhilarated afterwards. As a result, stuck situations started to move again. I think this is what Jesus meant by: The truth shall set you free.
The way to a life of peace and happiness is to move from Hiding Out to Revealing All. The road to freedom lies in becoming more visible. The easiest way to start is by getting honest with yourself. This is the first of the 5 levels of truth telling.
Tell the truth to yourself about yourself. Even this can be hard! The quickest way to get to your truth is through your feelings. Look to how you are feeling. If it helps, write it down or speak it out loud. Remember this is your truth so don’t worry about what others think.
The next step is to tell the truth to yourself about another. This can be even tougher. It can bring up fears about breaking your promises or hurting another’s feelings. Just be honest with yourself and go gently.
Next, tell the truth to another about yourself. Be strong and of good courage. Be careful not to withhold important information. This doesn’t mean you have to share every thought, observation or past memory as this would drive you mad! But it is about making sure that everyone is playing with all the cards on the table. Total visibility means hiding nothing.
Then, tell the truth to the other about that other. You may feel afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings or that they leave the room. Telling the truth is sometimes uncomfortable. Remind yourself that it is more important how you send a message than how it is received.
Finally tell the truth to everyone about everything. Become a spiritual warrior and bring the sword of truth to bear in all situations. Can you imagine what our world would like if we shared all there was to know about everything? It would turn this world upside down. It would be revolutionary!
Ultimately I think that truth is who we are. Perhaps this is why we all seem to have a pretty reliable bullshit detector inside?
In a nutshell
“Honesty is the highest form of love” (CWG)
Applying this wisdom
1. Think of a time when you have been radically honest with yourself. How did this make you feel? Allow yourself to step into that feeling.
2. Bring that feeling to bear as you think of a current situation where you would like to be more honest with yourself. What would you say to yourself? Write this down.
3. Practise speaking your truth to the one in the mirror. How does this feel? If any uncomfortable feelings come up, notice them and watch them pass.
4. What would you now like to tell another based on what you have told yourself? Practise telling them out loud. Notice if you feel ready to do this for real or not.
We live in a world of contrasts. Think of the seasons. We cannot have spring without winter or autumn without summer. It is the whole cycle that gives us the experience of the seasons in all their glory.
Similarly if “short” does not exist, I cannot know myself as “tall”. If there is no experience for me to call “sad”, I cannot know “happy”. This is sometimes called the Law of Opposites which refers to the necessity of two apparent opposites existing in the same space in order for either of them to exist at all.
So, put simply, in the world in which we live there is no “fast” without “slow”, no “joy” without “sorrow”, and no “good” without “evil”. Yet notice how these are not fixed categories. On a day when it’s 12 degrees centrigrade in a British summer people would call it “chilly” whereas in a British winter they would say it was “warm”. In other words, we are making it all up. Ultimately these things are objective phenomena which we label depending on the context or judgement we give them.
This is not to trivialise it. In fact, this labelling is an act of great importance. It is by declaring some things to be, for example, evil that we define ourselves. As it says in CWG, the biggest evil would be to declare nothing evil at all. For us to define who we are, we must select some things from the vast collective of phenomena and call them evil. Unless I do this, I cannot call myself or anything else good.
Now this principle of relativity applies in the physical world in which we live. Yet, in the spiritual world from which we come and to which we return, this is not the case. There, All That Is is All That Is. There is no relational principle at work simply because there is only One Thing and it is all magnificent. The image we are given for the spiritual realm in CWG is that of a little candle shining in the presence of the sun. The little candle knows that is it is light but it can’t really experience itself as light because Light is all there is. And so the little candle chooses to go to another realm in order to surround itself by darkness. By encountering the darkness or that which it is not the little candle is able to really know itself as that which it is.
I believe that appreciating this field of contrasts can lead to us experiencing a more harmonious life. For instance, you may choose to see yourself as a peaceful person and then find yourself encountering all sorts of aggression. Now instead of condemning it, what if you acknowledged that this aggression coming into your space actually enabled you to declare and express yourself as a woman or man of peace? By taking this perspective and blessing the experience, you may even be able to help to transform the aggression into something else.
In a nutshell
“In the absence of that which you are not, that which you are… is not” (CWG)
Applying this wisdom
1. Think of something you are intending to be more of (e.g. prosperous)
2. Identify what is coming into your space that is the opposite of this (e.g. being pick-pocketed)
3. What is the gift or the message that this experience of the opposite is bringing you?
4. Who do you choose to be in relation to this Other Than that is showing up?
“What do you do?” Often, this is the first question we ask on meeting a new person. We are usually defined by what we do. “She’s a doctor”, “He’s a teacher”, “I’m a healer”.
When the author Howard Cutler asked the Dalai Lama to describe his work, he replied, “Nothing. I do nothing”. When Cutler pressed harder, the Dalai Lama simply said “I just look after myself”. He is very clear: The purpose of life is to be happy. But happiness isn’t something we do – it is something we are. In the West, this is counter-cultural. Most of us believe that in order to be happy, there is something we must have and thus something we must do. For example, in order to be content, I must have a bigger house which means I must do my job.
But notice that what we’re really after is a feeling. Given that we desire a state of being, there is a more direct route. Instead of trying to reach this by doing and having, we could start with the being itself. This means that you decide to be happy first. Or generous or empowered or wild or peaceful or whatever. So, before going for a job interview, you make a conscious choice to be happy about the opportunity, regardless of the outcome.
This calls for a certain detachment from results. How can you appreciate the interview when you don’t get the job? You can “see the perfection” even when it is not immediately obvious. Even when you “fail” the interview, you don’t get the promotion, experience the healing, or meet the man of your dreams… you don’t lose heart.
You can choose to be happy in any of these situations, because happiness has ZERO to do with exterior circumstances. And once you realise this, you have great peace.
In a nutshell
“Need nothing. Desire everything. Choose what shows up.” (CWG)
Applying this wisdom
1. Think of something you really want: a new kitchen, a more fulfilling relationship, a better sex life. Write this down.
2. Ask yourself: Why do I want this? What do I think it will bring me? Get to the feeling: a sense of contentment, excitement, fulfilment or security. Write this down.
3. Go inside and find this feeling within. Let this feeling flood your body. Enjoy!
4. Now ask yourself, if I were to start from this feeling, what would I do?
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